Monday, June 11, 2007
2nd US Appeals Court Tells FCC to Go Fuck Themselves.
Over at First Offenders, Lori Armstrong wrote a piece last week about a reader coming all unglued over bad words.
Well, Lori can thank her lucky stars she's not on TV. Because there's a group of people in Virginia who spend all day watching the tube and no, they're not college students. They're analysts working for the Parents Televison Council. One of them, and I'm not making this up, is named Kristine Looney. If you need some insight into Looney's politics, look no further than her bookshelf, stuffed with tomes of rightitude by Ann Coulter and G. Gordon Liddy.
According to the FCC, 99.5% of complaints about obscenity on TV come from Looney and other people of the PTC and then the FCC uses these complaints to levy megabuck fines on the TV shows.
Don't get me wrong. The FCC does spend my tax money on some things I agree with. Here's one and again, I am not making this up:
KRON-TV of San Francisco was fined when a cast member from the Puppetry of the Penis show performed "genital origami" to shape his junque into the Eiffel Tower and a baby kangaroo. I'd gladly pay not to see that, thank you, FCC.
So I'm all up in that shit. But language? Not so much. And last week the Second Appeals Court told the FCC to fuck off and die.
When the PTC objected to Bono's saying fuck during an acceptance speech at the Golden Globes, the FCC's Enforcement Bureau first told the PTC to suck it, saying that Bono's comments were "fleeting and isolated" and didn't describe "sexual or excretory organs or activities." But the GOP-appointed asshats of the full Commission overturned that decision, saying that fuck was "patently offensive under contemporary community standards."
But the Court said the FCC was divorced from fucking reality.
FCC chairman Kevin Martin is pissed. "I find it hard to believe that the New York court would tell American families that 'shit' and 'fuck' are fine to say on broadcast television during the hours when children are most likely to be in the audience," he said at a time when children were most likely to be in the audience.
"It is the New York court, not the Commission, that is divorced from reality in concluding that the word 'fuck' does not invoke a sexual connotation."
"Fucking courts and their fucking Constitutional shit," he might have said. "Fuck them. And I am in no way invoking a sexual connotation, motherfuckers."
He did say that if the FCC was unable to break balls on prime time potty-mouths, “Hollywood will be able to say anything they want, whenever they want.”
And we can't have people saying anything they want, any time they want. Not in America. Not in the Land of the Fucking Free. Cocksuckers.
But here's my favorite part: The judges cited examples in which the Prez and the Vice Prez had been caught using the same language the FCC got the red-ass about. Bush pulled the shit bomb on Tony Blair last July and Dick "Dick" Cheney was famously taped inviting Patrick Leahy to go fuck himself.
So, until the Supreme Court and Clarence Thomas weigh in on what's obscene, we're free to say fuck and shit about almost anything. Even the fucking Parents Television Council. So fuck them. Motherfuckers.