Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Crazy Hot Teen Sex.

News flash - young people have sex. Even those young people who promise to keep their knees together until they're married.

Huh. Who could have guessed?

Who could have guessed that young people who, in the slow march of evolution aren't biologically in synch with the timetable of civilization, might forget their Sunday morning vows in the heat of a Saturday night?

Actually, anyone not blinded by ideology and wishful thinking.

People who push abstinence-only sex education, people like Sarah Palin because it worked so well in her family. People who will tell you with a straight face that comprehensive sex ed puts ideas in young people's noggins, like those noggins aren't already buzzing like Cujo's with the procreative pull of their naughty bits.

So here's another study that conservatives will ignore in their Doris Day fantasy. They'll cover their ears and sing la-la-la so they don't have to picture little Susie doing a reverse cowgirl in the back of the family van.

That would be fine except that Susie's boyfriend is a lot less likely to wear this ring,



if she's wearing this ring.

If the thought of Susie making the beast with two backs while Mom and Dad picket a production of Romeo and Juliet doesn't make the abstinence-only crowd burst into flames, get this: Teens who take the purity pledge are more likely to go anal.

Ouch. That's gotta hurt.





I've said for years that the social conservative movement is based soley on sex. They don't like gays because it makes them think about gay sex. They don't like sex education because it makes them think about teen sex. They don't like sex in movies or TV because it makes them think about sex and sex makes them uncomfortable. I don't know why.

Maybe they're not getting as much sex as they would like. Maybe it's not the kind of sex they like. Maybe they're not getting laid at all. I don't know. But sex makes them squirm and not in a good way.

Atrios over at Eshcaton has a more cynical take on this. He says:


While the fact that virginity pledges and abstinence-only sex "ed" don't stop teens from having sex is unsurprising, I doubt that even proponents are particularly surprised. They aren't interested in abstinence, really, they're interested in making sure "bad girls" get punished for having sex by being subject to the appropriate consequences. So it actually works as designed.


Could be. Again, I don't know. People's sexuality is so mysterious, I don't pretend to know what makes their tropical zones humid.

Jesus, didn't some lawmaker this year check out while dressed in a wetsuit and scuba gear? People got kinks.

And I'll wager the title of this post brings in a lot of social conservatives searching for a little illicit peek at cheerleaders getting their pom poms fluffed.

I'm not sorry that, as they did with this year's election results, they'll have to go away disappointed.

35 comments:

Graham Powell said...

I am not a bit surprised at this, especially the news that "chastity pledge" kids are less likely to use protection. Treat people like babies, they'll act like babies.

I have been thinking more and more that the various parts of the conservative movement are cobbled together mostly out of convenience. I mean, I consider myself a conservative, but I'm a "live and let live" conservative. I want the government to stay out of my business - but I'm not all that eager to poke my nose into other people's business, either.

Unless, you know, they're into that kind of thing.

Charlie Stella said...

Davey, Davey, Davey ... I'm back.

What's up with Obambi believing in the "sanctity of marriage" ... is he uncomfortable, too?

Come on, brother ... we know the right is wrong on these issues, but I'm not seeing much help on the left ... I think we both know Obambi is fine with gay marriage but has/had to sell out for more conservative support (the party of the people aren't quite ready to be of the people) ... even Cali-for-nya couldn't get over themselves on gay marriage.

When are the Dems going to do something about this?

The amendment should be pro gay marriage (and proudly, not sheepishly) and so long as they hide behind selling out ... well, they don't have anything near the moral high ground.

But happy new year anyway, brother!

David Terrenoire said...

Charlie 3x,

The perfidy of the right is matched only by the cowardice of the left.

Sadly, yes.

Happy New Year Charlie and let's all pray for courage in 2009 because we're going to need it.

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