I've never done one of these memes before, mostly because of #37, but they also remind me of those giggling sex surveys we passed around in middle school (Have you kissed? With tongue?) that taught me how to lie boldly and without shame.
But someone sent this to me and I thought it might amuse while I recover.
So, here ya go:
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yes, King David of the Bible. (Actually, I don't have any idea.)
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? This morning when I woke up and realized I had not been embraced by sweet sweet death while I slept
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I prefer cutting letters out of a magazine and pasting them onto the note paper
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Long pig
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Unfortunately for my daughter, yes
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Only if I could lend me money
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Me? Sarcasm?
8.. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS No, I donated them to science.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Depends. Which, coincidentally, is what I would wear to bungee jump.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Shredded wheat
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? I let the nurse do it.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? My strength lies in sarcasm.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Pistachio
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? If they look like they could lend me money.
15. RED OR PINK? Red, as in Commie Red.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? What day is today?
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My father.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Only if their answers are revealing, entertaining or embarrassing.
19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Red, as in Commie Red.
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? A banana.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? My clock ticking.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Red, as in …
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Baby heads.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Pete, our mechanic.
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I’m madly in like with the person who sent this to me.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Porn.
27. HAIR COLOR? Elvis black.
28. EYE COLOR? Red, as in….
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No.
30. FAVORITE FOOD? I am Omnivore, see me consume.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Depends. Which is what I wear watching scary movies.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Detour.
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Faded purple.
34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer.
35. HUGS OR KISSES? Inappropriate touching.
36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Vodka tonics.
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? People with too much time on their hands.
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Reverse of #37.
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Charlie Opera by our friend, Charlie Stella.
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? A mouse.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? The Daily Show.
42. FAVORITE SOUND? Childrens’ laughter.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Depends. (Make your own geezer joke here)
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Bolivia.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I have an amazing ability to annoy people.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Donora, Pennsylvania, a steel town with air so toxic it killed 19 people on Halloween night, 1948.
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? Surprise me.