Texting while stupid.

In Wisconsin comes the news that there's a new class of criminal threatening the peace and stability of America's heartland. It's the incorrigible texter, polluting polite society with her thumb-typed OMGs! and LOLs!

Of course, this reprobate did deserve a good slap upside the head. But arresting her? Wow. Back in the stone age, when I was a kid, this type of Teen Girl Revolt (sounds like a great movie title) was dealt with in-house by an assistant principal who trained for the job by keeping cons straight on the Rock. Later, the eye-roller would face parents who would administer some appropriate punishment, like no sitting by the cave's fire for a week.

Today, they call the cops. Book 'em, Danno.

Here's the facts, just the facts:

The 14-year-old was texting in class. The teacher told her to stop. The teen continued. The teacher dropped a dime. The cop demanded the cell phone and "the teen hid it down her pants and denied having a cell phone."

Nice. She was busted for disorderly conduct, disrupting the class and giving her male classmates instant wood. When a reporter spoke to the teen's father, the poor bastard, already broken by life with a teenage girl said, "They were more than fair. They gave her a few chances, but for some reason she didn't abide by that." Of course, Dad had to pony up $300 for bail. The teen was suspended for a week.

Again, her father, contemplating a stiff drink, a sharp blade and a warm bath said, "It's very disturbing and upsetting..."

And after she was suspended, the girl was caught sneaking back into school. Twice. She was ticketed for trespassing, costing her father more money and several more years off his already bleak, futile and pointless life.