Unlike the rest of you mooks, Ray Banks is a True Pal.
See this? I don't know if you can read that little scrawl in the upper left but it identifies this as a "SMALL PACKET." And the observant among you will notice that this small packet comes via Royal Mail. How cool is that? Like getting a birthday greeting from the Queen.
Before we get to what's inside, let us look at what other treasures we can find on the envelope. Look, it's a customs declaration, as if anyone is going to declare " 1 oz. cocaine" under "Quantity and detailed description of contents." No, it is a book. But my favorite thing is this:
It's a genuine Ray Banks autograph, dated and everything. And when Ray gets to be fabulously famous, as we all know he will, this sucker's going up on e-bay. We're talking retirement fund, baby.Oh, what was inside? A book. A new book. A new book called Donkey Punch and it looks like this:
The legions of Ray's American fans will have to wait to read Donkey Punch because it isn't available in the States yet. Unless you have connections like True Pal Ray Banks.
I'm starting Donkey Punch today. The rest of you can read the back of your cereal bran boxes and eat your hearts out.
HA!
9 comments:
Lucky bastard.
I hate you.
Damn.
Like winning the lottery.
I thought about ordering that book yesterday. Then the ac kicked on and I remembered I had to pay Duke Friggin' Energy for last month.
So, I'm next in line, right?
(makes a list of people to send the NEXT one to).
This is all good, folks, just keep talking - don't mind me.
See friends, this is the perfect example of no good deed going unpunished.
Ray did me a solid and in the interest of cheap entertainment, I embarrassed him and increased his already sizeable sense of obligation.
I must learn not to exploit every aspect of my somewhat limited life for an easy laugh. People could get hurt.
And for all of you waiting for it to come to U.S. shores, I ordered Saturday's Child a while back from Amazon UK. Took forever to get here, as I think it was routed through the Andes in the back of a cocaine shipment, but it was well worth it. I'll be grabbing a copy from there soonish, as soon as I set up another buy from my Colombian connection.
Actually, folks, not to take anything away from when the books come out in the US, I don't know that it might not be faster ordering from Australia?
I mean, if you're that desperate. And don't forget to buy it again! Ahem.
And Dave is talking rubbish. Easy laughs are the best kind. Cheaper the better as far as I'm concerned. And if you don't believe me, I'll fart and giggle like a fat little schoolboy any time you want.
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