Let's try not to screw this up today.

I'm looking at you, Democrats.

I drove old ladies to the polls for McGovern.

I voted for Fritz Mondale.

Fritz Mondale, for God's sake.

I was there when Dukakis took his ride in that goddamn tank.

When Al Gore rouged his cheeks and sighed like an addled Gilbert and Sullivan ingenue, I hung in there.

When Howard Dean screamed and John Kerry spoke, I pretended everything was okey-doke.

So, tomorrow morning, I want to see these faces on the news. I'm not kidding.

I know Democrats would have trouble getting lucky in a women's prison, but there's no excuse this year. So make it happen, people. Make it happen.