"I thought I was going to get my life together,"

Ronald Doston told the judge. Well now he's got plenty of time to work on that.

After being arrested for the zillionth time for the same crime, the judge sentenced Dotson to 30 years in prison. What was Dotson's crime? He smashed a window of a cleaning supply place on the corner of 8 Mile and Woodward in order to make sweet sweet dummy love to a mannequin.

"I think he lacks social skills," his lawyer said. Ya think? (And if lacking social skills is a crime, why isn't Jeff Shelby behind bars?)

Dotson's been here before. In 1993 he snatched three female mannequins. Seven years later he was arrested again after becoming entranced by a mannequin with bobbed hair in a pink dress.

And who could blame him? Really.

Even though Dotson is an habitual offender, 30 years is a pretty harsh sentence considering the mannequin was asking for it by wearing a French maid's outfit.

"He needs to be kept off the streets," the prosecuting attorney said.

Now, maybe I'm a bit simple-minded, but couldn't this be accomplished by giving the guy his own mannequin and a tub of KY? Because I'm willing to take up a collection.

The judge, master of the obvious, said, "It's clear there is an illness here that needs to be dealt with."

But who's thinking of the victim? Nobody. She continues to be exploited by the store, parading her in the window in that degrading maid's outfit like she was nothing more than an inanimate chunk of flesh-painted plaster. "It attracts a lot of attention," said the store manager/pimp.

Yeah, she sure got Dotson's attention.

If Dotson is intent on making love to something that has no emotions and doesn't move during sex, I have an old girlfriend I could introduce him to.

On second thought, maybe prison is less cruel.