Monday, February 26, 2007

Why I love the Bible.

I think it was Richard Brautigan who wrote about the pretty girl who got drunk at parties, enticed men into driving her across town to her apartment, and then left them sitting alone at the curb once they got there.
Strangely, the Bible has nothing to say about that sort of unpleasant behavior.

But it does have something to say about anyone who has ever bought a lady a drink with more on his mind than merely quenching her thirst.

One of the prophets - a whiny, insistent dude named Habbakkuk - said this about any man who seduces a woman by getting her so blotto that she pukes on his car:

"Woe to him who gives his neighbor drink, pouring your inflaming wine until they
are drunk, so that he may gaze at their naked bodies!"
Which is why God gave us naked women on the Internet instead.

Tomorrow: Why Jim Born is not my boyfriend.

9 comments:

Jim Winter said...

"Tomorrow: Why Jim Born is not my boyfriend."

Because Jeff Shelby would be jealous?

Olen Steinhauer said...

Man, that picture says it all. They look like Lithuanians to me.

David Terrenoire said...

Ha! Olen, I love that. Is that some sort of Eastern European slur?

"You, sir, look like a Lithuanian."

Patrick Shawn Bagley said...

It's okay if you get 'em tanked up and take advantage of them, David. It says somewhere in the Bible that anyone who references Richard Brautigan can't be all bad. Proverbs, I think.

Olen Steinhauer said...

It should be a slur, but as far as I know, it isn't. It was just the country that came to mind! They're clearly some kind of European--look at the guy's hair! Nothing American or Canadian at all in that pic.

Maybe Belgian...okay, that is kind of a slur over here, so strike it.

Olen Steinhauer said...

Oh, I just Googled the image title, and it turns out it's Swiss. Yeah, I'll buy that.

David Terrenoire said...

Olen,

The picture does have that Mentos-like foreign feel to it. I had a choice of several pics for this post, but this one generated the weirdest vibe.

Still, I have added "You look like a Lithuanian" to my catalogue of insults and invective.

Anonymous said...

Jim-
Born always wants an immediate committment. Uses quaint phrases like "going steady."

I don't think David or I are the relationship types and Born isn't smart enough to pick up on that...

Anonymous said...

You can all kiss my ass.

Jim