A 300-pound female tiger named Tatiana ate a man on Christmas day.
In San Francisco.
Tatiana chewed up another two men before police shot her.
If this story doesn't reflect the harsh vagaries of life, I don't know what does. You're spending a lovely holiday at the zoo and suddenly, wham! you're being eaten by a 300-pound tiger.
Or, conversely, you finally escape whatever it is that's holding you back and you're having a quiet Christmas nosh when several men shoot you dead. Damn.
Here's hoping there are fewer 300-pound tigers in your life (or men with guns) in the new year.
On a brighter note, I got an alarm clock for Christmas and I'm happy.
The little things. Learn to love the little things.