This is a microcosm for what I can expect in 2008.
Let me explain. A few years ago I was going through a rough patch and my doctor, knowing I don't trust any drugs not sold out of the front seat of a VW microbus, suggested I try meditation. I said, "Yeah, yeah." Fucking hippie.
Then I ran into a friend while I was doing the least zen thing in the world - buying a 40" flat screen Sony. He overlooked my crass materialism and gave meditation his whole-hearted endorsement.
So I got a book. I read the instructions, and this morning I sat on the floor and gave it a try. I'm supposed to breathe in, count one, breathe out and count two. Breathe in and count three. This should continue until I reach ten. But if there's a random thought that pulls you out of your concentration, you start over at one.
How'd I do? I never made it past two. I had little fragments of crap poking into my bliss almost every second, the worst being when Jenny turned on the TV in the other room and I had Pat Buchanan pissing all over my chi.
I asked her to mute the bastard, and she did, but I wasn't any more successful. Finally, I gave up.
Tonight I'll try again. Nothing worth while is easy, and there's no such thing as instant enlightenment. Except for those things they used to sell out of the front seat of a VW microbus.
But that's another story.
Yes, I think this morning was a fine metaphor for the new year. Politicians nattering in my ear as I try to find a little goddamn inner peace.
Any suggestions? Have any of you tried this? Have any of you been successful? Help me out here.