...if you don't like our justice system now, you sure won't like it when your cellmate wants to cuddle.
So you don't strain your eyes reading this guy's scrawl, here's what this upstanding citizen sent to the court, explaining why he couldn't be part of a jury:
Apparently you morons didn’t understand me the first time. I CANNOT take time off from work. I’m not putting my familys wellbeing at stake to participate in this crap. I don’t believe in our “justice” system and I don’t want to have a goddamn thing to do with it. Jury duty is a complete waste of time. I would rather count the wrinkles on my dogs balls than sit on a jury. Get it through your thick skulls. Leave me the f–k alone.
I thought the bit about counting the wrinkles on his dog's balls creative, but not in a way that's going to impress the county lockup's literary community.
I believe every person should show up for jury duty, if for no other reason than to hear how important other people's lives are. Really, there are more essential people than I thought.
When I showed up for jury duty a few years ago, we were being seated for a murder trial (another story for another day) and there was one woman who decided she would, like our citizen up there, have none of it.
During voir dere, she started by saying that her father was a prison guard, her brother a cop, she thought anyone arrested was guilty of something, even if it wasn't for the crime charged, and not only did she believe in the death penalty, she wanted it extended to other offenses, like being Mexican or chewing food with your mouth open.
Needless to say, they dismissed her. A much more practical, yet no less efficient way of ducking jury duty than the one our upright citizen chose. And it has the added attraction of no jail time! Bonus!
(my legal friends - I'm looking at you Dusty - can fill us in on what is the possible punishment for shenanigans like this. I'm curious.)
This is from the estimable Failblog, or course, one of my favorite sites. Whenever I feel like a complete knucklehead, this place makes me realize that there's a whole other league of moronic behavior out there than what I've engaged in.