Pretty impressive, right? As it turns out, these are some of the best breasts money can buy.
Carrie Prejean aka Miss California, has been in the news lately because she said, “...We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman..." pissing off gay men, a beauty pageant's biggest audience block, and admitting to the rest of America that she is an inarticulate bigot.
But that's not what interested me about Miss Prejean. After all, what's one more floating turd of vacuous blather compared to the river of poo that Hannity, Limbaugh, Beck and Doocy pass every day?
No, another empty-headed beauty queen making Republicans all tingly in their nether bits is hardly worth a mention. But when the news focuses on her store-bought Winnebagos, that's when I take notice.
Last week, Keith Lewis, the co-Director of the Miss California Pageant, appeared on a network news show and admitted he helped our plucky contestant get a new front-end alignment.
When newsbabe Maggie Rodriguez asked why, Lewis said it was to give Prejean confidence because, as we all know, women can't possibly be confident without big tits. Then the interview turned to other ways of looking confident without having to beg skeezy pageant people to pay for your new knockers.
"Many of the girls use chicken cutlets," Lewis said.
Wow. I'll never look at chicken cutlets the same way ever again. Or breasts, for that matter.
And the questions arise: How does that work? Does it make a girl smell like poultry?Can you eat the cutlets afterward? If a gentlemen nuzzled your breast, as gentlemen are wont to do, could he contract salmonella? Would veal cutlets work? What does PETA think about using our feathered friends to enhance a beauty contestant's cleavage?
As we ponder these and other pressing questions of the day, let's use this opportunity to check out Miss Prejean's hooters again.
They're pretty nice, you have to admit. But probably not nice enough to win over all her former fans.