Men at Work

With the help of a friend I've got my computer talking to my web host. That's good.

I still can't figure out how to make a few small changes until I can get the time to completely redesign the site. That's bad.

I'm thinking about it, in the dark, at 3 a.m. That's not great, but OK.

I'm in here trying to get it to work again at 3:30. Not so good.

I should be working on the novel.

Updating my web site.

The last time I updated my web site was in 2006, so to help in my job search, I wanted to maybe change the design, update the portfolio and make sure the phone number was right. (It isn't.)

So, I open up Dreamweaver CS4 this morning, try to download my existing site and I can't connect to my host. I don't know why.

I change my password. I check my ftp address. I make sure that the site is where it should be. (It is.)

But it won't talk to me.

Two hours later and I am at a loss. So, I have reached out to a friend for help. I'll let you know how it goes.

For those who want to see what it looks like now, go to www.davidterrenoire.com.

Is this thing on?

One of the the scariest things about the Internet is that nothing ever goes away.

Including this blog.

That's just one of the many things I know that politicians don't seem to understand. Or maybe they just don't care.

But luddite politicos aside, I'm shedding some new light on this dark planet to document some of the things that have happened to your narrator and his family since we last convened. For a lot of you, this will be old news from Facebook. But for the rest of you who care (yes, both of you), here's a rundown beginning from last October.

1. Things at work heat up. Carlos and I are tasked with creating a 12 minute documentary, shooting and editing as we go, for a show in November.

2. Molly and her fiance, Mark, move to Nashville, where Mark has a better job selling shoes than he had here. Hard to imagine, but it's true. Molly gives up her first employment in two years, a job she enjoys and is doing well, to be with the man she loves. We wish the young folks well and plan to stuff the rent we'd been paying on their house into a retirement account because between supporting Jenny's mother and now supporting Molly and Mark, we've got nothing put away for ourselves.

3. Work gets more intense and 60 hour weeks become common.

4. Around the middle of November, Molly moves back home. It appears that Mark, who moved to Nashville with a job, can't understand why Molly hasn't landed employment in a few weeks. Because, hey, the economy is booming, right?

5. Thanksgiving. Carlos and I work on the documentary on the Friday after Thanksgiving. We are the only people in the building.

Shortly after that, Molly checks herself into the hospital.

6. On December 14th, my sister calls saying my mother is in the hospital. Should I come out to Oklahoma? Should I wait until Mom's back home? My sister says to wait.

7. With Christmas approaching, the family becomes almost paralyzed with waiting. Meanwhile, work ramps up to more nights and weekends.

8. Christmas. I have bought presents for Jenny and Molly. My presents are from my sister, sent before Mom went into the ICU.

9. My sister calls. Mom has been sent home. It is a matter of days. By the luck of the cosmos, I get a check for a freelance gig I'd done last summer that pays for our flight to Oklahoma. Molly and I arrive on Wednesday afternoon. Mom opens her eyes and smiles. Tears fill her eyes and she closes them. The next day she is gone.

10. I fly home. Work is intense. I raise my voice to an account executive who has rewritten one of my headlines. HR tells me to go home for a week. It's the week of my colonoscopy, so I go.

11. My health is deteriorating and no one knows why. Work is back with a vengeance. Our department is told that we're unreliable and uncollaborative. We go back to logging 70 hours a week while the other departments, those who are reliable and collaborative, go home at 5.

12. Last week, as I approach my 61st birthday, I am called into HR and fired. They mumble some reasons why, none very compelling, and after five years, I pack all my shit in a box.

13. Yesterday, we learn that Jenny is getting let go, too. Her co-workers believe she's losing a step or two, and we fear they're right. We are faced with the prospect of far too much money going out, and no money coming in. I begin looking for work.

And that's where we are today.

As the next few months unfold, I'll be using The Planet to document what it's like to be over 60 and looking for work in this job market.

Stay tuned. It should be fun.

My answer to John McCain.

Below is a letter I sent to Senator McCain's office after his tantrum on the Senate floor.

Dear Senator McCain,

I watched your recent reaction to the repeal of DADT.

Let me assure you, I have served in the military. My brother and sister served in the military. My father and my uncle served in the military during WWII. My uncle was KIA on Iwo. I have his flag in my office.

My nephews and my niece are serving in the military. My brother-in-law is a graduate of the academy (64) and my wife's father was a young lieutenant in the 82nd, dropped into Normandy on June 6th. Her grandfather was a graduate of West Point and an aide to Omar Bradley.

We know what it's like to serve. We know what it's like to sacrifice.

And I am happy that the Senate stood up for the rights of individual Americans in repealing DADT.

As a former enlisted man and someone who had far fewer advantages than you, I found your comments about elitists versus real Americans unfortunate.

If an average Joe looked at you and me, I am not the one he would brand the elitist. A public high school in Pennsylvania and a degree from West Virginia University are hardly upper crust.

I respect and honor your service and I would have voted for you in 2000. It saddens me to see how bitter, and partisan, you've become.

I hope that you reclaim your legacy and continue to fight for nonpartisan progress.

Sincerely,

David Terrenoire
US Army 1969-1971

We live among heroes. A Veteran's Day tribute.

On most Veterans Days, I write about people of a previous generation. There's my father's brother, a young Marine who never made it off Iwo Jima. Or Jenny's father, a lieutenant in the 82nd, dropped into Normandy on June 6th.

This year, I want to salute a new generation. This is Karin, Jenny's niece. She's a new recruit to the US Army. Last year she enlisted on the same day that her son, Little Jon, signed up.

She comes from a tradition of service. Her brother, Big Jon, is a blue steel warrior, a combat arms officer who it is my privilege to school at the pistol range every chance I get. Which isn't often enough.

Her older sister has served in the State Dept. for decades and her younger sister, Katherine, is studying to be a nurse.

Service to others. That's what Karin and her siblings represent and they carry on a family tradition that goes back to the Revolution. It's in their DNA and I am proud that they call me Uncle David.

So, on this Veteran's Day, I salute Karin, her sisters and her brother. Thanks, kids, for letting this old dogface be part of your family.

Truly dark days are upon us children.

Now there's a shortage of peyote.

I think it's Glenn Beck's fault.

How else do you explain his show?

They should have hired a Mexican to take the test.

Well, this certainly explains a lot about last week's election.

A conservative group in Oklahoma, and that means that they don't wear brown shirts to work, but would if they could, thought they would celebrate the Constitution by asking a bunch of Oklahoma high school students to answer questions that every immigrant has to answer to become a US citizen.

And how did the little Sooners do? Only 2.8% passed. Yeah. As the kids say, epic fail. Turns out that OK students aren't so OK after all.

But the questions must have been tough, right? I'll let you decide. Can you answer these ten questions?

1. What is the supreme law of the land?
2. What do we call the first 10 amendments to the Constitution?
3. What are the two parts of the U.S. Congress?
4. How many justices are on the Supreme Court?
5. Who wrote the Declaration of Independence?
6. What ocean is on the East Coast of the United States?
7. What are the two major political parties in the U.S.?
8. We elect a U.S. senator for how many years?
9. Who was the first president of the United States?
10. Who is in charge of the executive branch?

"It's depressing," said Brandon Dutcher, vice president of the group who funded this little lesson in despair. "If these survey results are any indication, we are very much a nation at risk."

These were high school students. High school. And only 23% could name Washington as the first president. Jesus Christ, kids, he's on the fucking dollar bill.

The only question that a majority of these kids could answer was number 6. Yes, a whopping 61% of them could identify that giant body of water to the east.

Oh, and how do the immigrants do on this test? 92.7% of them pass.

And we wonder why tea baggers can't spell.

A Tea Party Rant.

So, the Democrats got their asses handed to them on Tuesday. I'm not happy about that, but I can't say I'm surprised.

At the risk of becoming that old man who claims that everything was better in the old days, because it wasn't, there is something significant that we've lost.

We used to have the courage to see beyond today. We used to believe that watching your neighbor suffer in hard times was like saying to him, "Your end of the boat is sinking."

We rebuilt our former enemies with the Marshall Plan, one of the most humane, smart, and foresighted government expenditures of tax money in this nation's history.

We educated an entire generation of men through the GI Bill, a spending of taxpayer money that came back to us seven-fold.

We financed the moon landings, Interstate highways and the Internet, all things that made us richer, smarter and more advanced than any nation in history.

We saw our grandparents in poverty and made Social Security a way for them to retire with some independence and dignity.

Today, our political zeitgeist is all about balancing the budget by cutting taxes and cutting spending. It resonates because it's simple and easy to put on a bumper sticker. But we know from experience that it doesn't work. Why? Because the problem is too complex to be solved by bumper sticker ideology.

The country I grew up in was one where every able-bodied male had an obligation to serve because, in my father's words, "that's the price you pay for living in a free country."

We used to be a place where people grudgingly paid taxes, in Ike's time up to 91%, because we all knew that better schools, a healthy workforce, and a sound infrastructure were the foundation of a strong economy.

When I was a kid, we heard people say, "no kid should go hungry in the richest nation on earth." We knew, without saying it, that one day those hungry kids would grow up to be angry adults. And besides, they were kids. It was the right thing to do.

We have, in the past 30 years, become a pinched and stingy society where people are scared that somewhere, someone is getting something for nothing. Higher education in California used to be free and the system was the envy of the world. Now, students graduate owing tens of thousands of dollars to bankers.

This is Republican progress, encouraged by people like the Tea Party movement, a political party that is part astroturf, funded by invisible billionaires like the Koch brothers and part willfully ignorant people who don't see that their Social Security checks and Medicare payments are the only things keeping them from a diet of ramen and dog food.

Seriously, I don't recognize my country any more. It's not the great nation it once was. I don't know whether I'm angry about this or just sad that our political engine has been hijacked by corporatist oligarchs who have duped enough people to keep them in power. Maybe it's both.

But I'm trying to let politics go. I'm trying to listen to more music, spend more time with my wife and friends, and most of all, turn off that fucking TV.

The tea partiers wanted to take their country back. Great. Here it is, ladies and gentlemen. Let's see what you do with the responsibility of governance.

But first, you might want to work harder on your spelling.

News of a literary sort.

It looks like I'll be ghosting another novel again if my agent works out the details. That's good news. Not as good as finishing this novel of my own, but good.

A good reason to break my silence.

On Monday I turned 60. This is my birthday present.

Thank you, Jenny, you are a wonder.

Persistence.

A few weeks ago, one of my favorite blogs, Naked Authors, closed its doors so the writers could concentrate on what they should be doing, which is writing.

As a regular reader of that blog, I was sorry to see them go, but I understood. Time is tight. Focus is important if you're going to run the marathon of writing a novel. A good novel, anyway.

For 4 years I've put up a post nearly every day. I've enjoyed the hell out of this. I hope you have too.

But lately I've wondered if I shouldn't be putting this time and energy into my next book. It's almost finished and I think, with some serious attention, I could be done by early summer.

So I'm taking a break. It may be a long break. I hope not. I hope I'll be back in April or May with news that I've finished this book. Wish me luck.

I'll miss all of you. OK, most of you. And you can always drop me a line. I answer e-mails, even the ones from people who wish to punch me in the face.

Which is most of you.

Good luck and I'll be back.

Later.

PS. I wanted to end with one of my favorite pictures. To me, it is the spirit of the novelist. Persistence in action.

Can we just grow the fuck up?

OK, so it's been two days now and the fucking Republic hasn't collapsed because Massachusetts elected a naked Republican to the Senate.

Sure, it means we'll probably never have health insurance reform meaning millions more people will go bankrupt and more insurance company CEOs will get rich and fucktwats like Joe Lieberman will get more wrinkly facetime on TV.

Yes, it probably means we'll never address the really hard issues like the deficit, infrastructure, debt or education.

We can probably kiss good-bye any hopes of actually regulating the banks or investing in real energy innovation or fixing any of the shit the previous 30 years of corrupt governance broke.

And we can look forward to more smug assholes like Sarah Palin prattling on about shit they neither believe nor understand.

But we won't die. Well, some of you will because of the health insurance thing.

And the world won't end. Well, maybe civilization will be drastically different once the climate blights our farms and moves the oceanfront to Phoenix.

And the USA won't collapse. Well, we might become a wholly-owned subsidiary of the People's Republic of China, but we won't collapse.

So grow a pair, Democrats, and learn how to twist some goddamn arms.

Jesus, sometimes I wonder why all the liberal pundits and party leaders just don't give up and put on a fucking skirt.

The Things We Carry.

In my last post, I wrote about bad people doing bad things, either from the batshit crazy of Pat Robertson or the ratfuck dishonesty of the evil prick Limbaugh.

(And if you haven't read Ed Gorman's comment on Limbaugh's place in our great circle of life, we'll wait while you do. Goddam the man can write.)

I don't take any great pleasure in pointing out the moral failings of prominent people. OK, I do. But Robertson and Limbaugh, like all good villains, have convinced themselves that what they're doing is right.

Horrifying, I know, but it's the truth.

Today, I'm more concerned with, in the words of Elvis Costello, the damage that we do and never know. The unintentional fuck-ups you make unless you renounce society and live a hermit's existence in some God forsaken spot like Tulsa.

This past weekend, I was made aware that I hurt people I cared about and what's worse, I was oblivious.

The first came from 42 years ago.

Kingsley Amis famously said that having a male libido is like being "chained to an idiot." And Jesus, my idiot was strong.

I knew a girl in high school who was young and eager to be popular. She was at a party. My party and, as the host was an idiot, there was probably a lot of bad behavior. I honestly don't recall.

But this young girl was treated shabbily by one of the other idiots at the party. Not criminal, but stupid and inconsiderate. And the hurt and shame she felt that day in my house, at my party, has stuck with her for 4 decades. This past weekend she asked me about it, if I remembered that party and what had happened.

I'm ashamed to say I don't remember. I don't even recall having the party. But I was her host, and I cared for her, and I was too stupid to notice that she had been humiliated and hurt.

I apologized. She said it wasn't necessary but I disagree.

The second example of my personal jerkish behavior happened more recently and came from a friend I'd broken with last year. The break was unpleasant and unnecessary. In an e-mail, my friend catalogued all the ways I'd let him down and disappointed him. Some of it was justified. But most of his anger was caused by assumptions, slights and a massive amount of bad communication.

So, as I see how I can wander through people's lives like Godzilla wanders through downtown Tokyo, it reminds me to take the slights and cruelty of others with more patience and forgiveness.

Except for guys like Robertson and Limbaugh. Those guys are just evil fucks.

The bland face of Evil.

Yesterday, in posting links to Haiti relief, I made a silly joke about God having a mean streak when everybody knows He's bipolar.

But Pat Robertson is not joking. This scion of wealth and privilege knows for sure, without any trace of doubt, that his kind and merciful God put out a hit on the poorest people in our hemisphere because 200 years ago, a few superstitious slaves supposedly made a deal with the devil.

Which Pat understands because that's how he got his TV show.

And people actually send this man money. This man who smuggles blood diamonds. This man who thinks women who want equal opportunities are practicing witchcraft. This man who believes that Christians in today's America face persecution "...more terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history."

Holy fuck. That's a lot of suffering.

But Pat, as seriously fucking deluded as he is, as twisted and perverse, as evil and cruel as he shows himself to be with every disaster, from 9/11 to Katrina and now to Haiti, is still holding the coat of the main toad in this loathsome display - Rush Limbaugh.



You know when Rush had chest pains over the holidays and the doctors said it wasn't a heart attack? That's because they couldn't find a heart.

I bring up these two awful people because I find that I'm still capable of being surprised by how despicable some people can be, and that's reassuring. Apparently, I'm not quite the cynic I sometimes think I am.

How to help.

One of the most powerful earthquakes to hit anywhere, chose to shake loose the poorest nation in the western hemisphere proving God has a really big mean streak.

Thanks, Big Guy.

Here's what you can do:

If you need information about family members in Haiti, the State Department has set up this number to call - (888) 407-4747.

If you want to donate, here are just a few places working in Haiti:

The American Red Cross International Response Fund.

Unicef

Mercy Corps

Yele, set up by Wyclef Jean, a native Haitian.

And here are Six More Ways You Can Help.


MSNBC has a list, too.

Go. Give.

I can't see you!

For some reason, the comments section below seems to be playing PeekaBoo. So if you don't see a spot in the previous post for your trenchant observations and keenly worded refutations, you know where you can stick your comment.

Right here. What'd you think I meant?

Fair and Unbalanced.

“This was — this was an attack that didn’t succeed on the scale it was expected to but did succeed,” said Brit Hume on Fox News.

Really? The Underpants Bomber's attack succeeded in what, exactly? Giving you more faux outrage for a few news cycles?

Or maybe Brit Hume is secretly a member of al Qaeda.

No, I don't believe Brit has the stones to set his crotch on fire, not even for Jesus.

But the right certainly has its asbestos panties in a bunch. They're so skeert that a whole bunch of them have suffered from simultaneous brain damage that's erased great swaths of recent history from their crania.


Haley Barbour, former chairman of the RNC told Fox News that when it came to terrorist attacks, George W. Bush “...had a 100 percent perfect track record.”

Excuse me?

But the Mississippi Governor isn't alone. A whole chorus line of people on the right have stepped up to to demonstrate that GOP dishonesty isn't just a surface thing, but goes bone deep.


Here's Mr. Mayor, Rudy Giuliani: “...after September 11, not one time did the terrorists who are trying to kill us and end our way of life, not one time were they able to attack the mainland United States. We had no domestic attacks under Bush.”

Rudy, are you sure? Does anthrax ring a bell? What about the DC Sniper? Or maybe you've forgotten about Jim David Adkisson, the right wing terrorist who shot up a church in Tennessee because he hated Democrats, liberals, African Americans and homosexuals. Oh, I can see why you'd want to forget that.


Or maybe Rudy believed Dana Perino, former Bush press secretary, when she said, "...we did not have a terrorist attack on our country during President Bush’s term."

Huh. I seem to recall something in the Fall of 2001. What was that?


Then we have Mary Matalin, quite possibly the most casual dissembler on TV, saying, "...we inherited the most tragic attack on our own soil in our nation’s history. And President Bush dealt with it..."


Oh, yeah, he dealt with it. Just as soon as he changed his big boy pull-ups.

But see what she did there? 9/11 wasn't Bush's fault. He inherited it. Just like he got everything else in life.

Finally, we have this from Liz and Dick Cheney's new think tank, Keep America Safe.

Keep America Safe: "100 Hours" from Keep America Safe on Vimeo.

What they hope you won't remember is the Bush/Cheney response to the shoe bomber, six days later, that was no more than on offhand attaboy to the plane's crew.

So the Fruit of Kaboom! Bomber sets his nads aflame on Christmas day, a Friday, and Obama makes his statement the following Monday.

OMG! He waited a whole weekend! We're all going to die!

Except we're not.

Why would leaders and spokespeople for the Republican party say such demonstrably false things? Are they really that stupid?

Or do they think we're that stupid?

If you ever needed evidence of the answer before, you certainly have it now.

More unemployment news.

A man with the readymade porn name of Jonah Falcon is out of work and living with his mom. But that's not what makes Jonah newsworthy.

The reason Jonah is in the news is because Jonah holds the record for being endowed with the world's biggest dick.

He, himself, is not the world's biggest dick. That honor is shared by Dick Cheney and his daughter, Liz.

But big dicks apparently won't get your resume to stand out. Or up.

I'll let you insert your own dick jokes. I have to get back to work before I lose my job, too.

If you're unemployed, any job looks good.

Almost any job.

Some dismal employment numbers came in last week with the country shedding 85,000 more jobs. This makes the Reuters report on the best and worst jobs for 2010 almost beside the point. Even a crap job is better than no job at all.

If you haven't seen it, here's an abbreviated list of the best and worst:

Best Jobs in 2010:

1. Actuary - Yes, it pays well. No, there's no heaving lifting. Still, sitting at a desk all day juggling numbers would make my head explode. Best job? Not for me.

2. Software engineer - I'm glad they exist. I'm glad I'm not one of them.

3. Computer systems analyst - See above.

4. Biologist - What, besides teach biology, do they do?

5. Historian - Now you're talking. But the day after this report came out I heard a woman on NPR's business news say that for people with doctorates in history, this is a terrible job market. WTF?

Worst Jobs in 2010:

1. Roustabout - You work outside on an oil rig for very little money considering the risk. But you still get more chicks than an actuary.

2. Lumberjack - Same with this job. And did the History Channel ever make a TV show about software engineers? Nope.

3. Ironworker - Walking tall steel? Without a net? It may not pay what a meteorologist gets paid, but you don't need brass peaches to do the weather, either.

You know what I think? I think whoever came up with this list had the best job because they got paid for delivering pure bullshit. Firefighters, sailors and photojournalists on the Worst list? Those are great jobs compared to some of the scud work out there. Which tells me the people who put this list together have had a pretty cushy existence.

Being a firefighter has got to be better than working nights cleaning office buildings, working thr grill as a short order cook or driving spikes for the railroad. Trust me, I've done all three of those jobs and they all suck. The railroad gig paid pretty well, but it was hard goddamn work.

So, what's the worst job you've ever had? And if you could have your dream job, what would it be?

Another excuse to show attractive women.

Here's a story from the Huffington Post that stinks like overripe fish.

According to this, a US Marine officer complained about the public state of undress of Australian women, bringing scorn and shame to centuries of USMC tradition.

Yes, I know officers in general can be a priggish lot. I had a colonel ask me why the men in the barracks drank so much. When I asked if he'd never imbibed just to get drunk he said no, he hadn't, leaving me temporarily speechless.

But I'm having a hard time believing any Marine would write this to the editor of the local Oz paper:

"It's about having standards, ladies," wrote an obvious charlatan claiming to be a Captain John Campbell. "What are standards? Well, it can begin by dressing in a manner that leaves something to the imagination, to say the least."

Australians, as you might imagine, had a few suggestions for Captain Campbell.

Lana Sandic, 19, said, "Most Territory girls would say put it where the sun doesn't shine."

Another Aussie wrote it off as "Another bloody American trying to educate the world" and suggested "Mate, look at your women in the US - Rosanne to Britney. At least we have a bar to raise."

Another wrote: "Leave your opinions in the USA. PS: You didn't vote for Bush by chance?"

Ouch.

But there is evidence that this is either a hoax or the letter writer, like our own commenter Anonymous Al, did not have the balls to use his real name.

The US consulate says they couldn't find a serving Marine with that name in Australia, and the paper confirmed they had been unable to contact Captain Campbell.

The paper, the Northern Territory News, has linked to an online portfolio of Australian girls called "Beautiful Territory" and requests your response. Do you side with Captain Campbell and the Taliban or do you take a more enlightened and libertarian view?

Take a look and let them know. After all, our national manhood, the reputation of the Corps, and good relations with an ally are at stake.

This isn't just your Constitutional right, gentlemen, it's your patriotic duty.