You have a few drinks with a few crime writers and you're lulled into feeling optimistic about the nature of human nature.
Then we get this from Newsday.
Denise Flaim starts her story with: "What is the most pathetic excuse for giving up a companion animal?"
The question should be, "What's the most pathetic excuse for a human being that gives up a companion animal?"
The story is full of reasons for dumping Fido. There's this piece of dermal detritus who just wanted Uncle Fred's money:
"Even though I promised to care for the dog," he said, "I knew I really wouldn't. I just wanted the inheritance."
Then there's the woman who dumped a 12-year-old cat because "He won't play with toys anymore, so we want to replace him with a kitten."
It gets worse.
"He doesn't photograph well in our family portrait"
"We have an Akita and we've decided to do away with our current 'Japanese landscaping' and go with a southwestern theme."
That's right, the dog won't complement the landscaping.
Sweet Jesus.
When my sister was born, my mother got rid of our dog. It was awful. And where did we send Champ? To a nice farm, we were told, where he could run and play and enjoy life as a dog.
Then my brother saw him tied to a porch in town. Yes, parents lie. Get used to it.
I wanted to return my baby sister and get the dog back because I thought it was a bum trade. That didn't fly, but now it gets me thinking that maybe jettisoning the defective and inconvenient isn't such a bad idea.
But we should do it to humans.
"Grandpa's wheezing is drowning out the TV."
"This baby is too needy."
"My God, we can't have Brace-Face on our Christmas cards. What will people think?"
"Too ugly."
"Too old."
"Too stupid."
"Too incontinent."
Pack it up, Grandma. You gotta go.
Yeah, this'll work.
10 comments:
Ain't people grand?
Our second dog, a lab / Irish wolfhound mix was a rescue. Her mother, the wolfhound, got pregnant from one of the neighborhood labs and her owner left her tied up to the fence of the shelter with her toys. Outside, in winter.
So our dog was born in the shelter. No way I'm giving her up.
Now, people on the other hand. Fuck 'em.
LHM.
We have two dogs that are adopted. Chinook was 11 months when we got him, Koona about 7.
Chinook's had issues - diarrhea when he's stressed, very clingy - but we've worked through a fair bit of it.
Koona bites.
And though she's broken skin (these idiots taught her to play with dangling towels, so if she sees baggy clothes she thinks it's an invitation and nips) we still have her. There are days we've felt frustrated beyond belief, but neither of us want to give up on her. We know if she went somewhere else, she'd be put down.
These people, they make me sick.
My dog is an overly energetic golden retriever. They are loveable animals but can be very hard to live with. Although I have not gotten rid of him or his predecessor (a slightly less energetic golden) for their flaws - you don't have time for the list. I have, on occasion, driven this dog and the previous one down Jones Sausage Rd. past the Slim Jim factory. I explained to Zeb just how many Slim Jims could probably be made out of 85 pounds of dog. Buddy was 110 pounds of golden and would have made even more Slim Jims. I am not sure if I got through to either of them, but I felt better after giving them the lecture and ultimatum. I do suspect there is a time in my future when my children will drive me past the Slim Jim factory and tell me to straighten up or else.
Well, that just depresses me even more about having had to give up our dog. :(
We tried SO HARD to train him for the baby. Obedience training immediately following adoption. Tons of praise for the poor abused animal. Set up baby furniture in advance. Let him smell the newborn hat. He was fine with it all until the baby cried for the first time. Then his predatory instinct kicked in and he tried to eat him.
He's with my in-laws, so at least we are sure he has a good home (other than the fact that they overfeed him), but I wish things had turned out differently. Then I wouldn't feel quite so much like a pathetic excuse for a human!
Christa,
I'd say trying to eat your baby is an acceptable excuse.
And these people just dropped the pooch at the pound. You found him a nice place where he gets to sleep on soft surfaces and eat his little doggie heart out. All quite acceptable.
But did you try driving him past the Slim Jim factory?
Just wondering.
If I drove my dogs past the Slim Jim factory they would rip the car doors off their hinges trying to get to the source of that wonderful smell.
They don't care what it is as long as it's meat.
Hmmm my parents once drove ME past the factory where they made canned dog and cat food. It didn't work. I'm still incorrigible, and still snore louder than the dog.
I never had pets as a child.
I've had two dogs, both raised since puppyhood and both from the local animal shelter. Dudley was a shepherd/husky mix who had a stroke at the age of eleven. Mojo is a lab/spaniel/whatever mix who is now thirteen.
By contrast, my sister-in-law has had five dogs in less than ten years. She keeps each dog until she grows tired of it, then dumps it on her parents and buys a new one. Yes, BUYS. A shelter dog isn't good enough. She has to spend $800 on a dachshund (is that spelled right?).
She doesn't abuse them physically, but pays almost no attention to them, never attempts to train them, and then discards them like old clothes.
You should have to pass an exam before you're allowed to have a pet.
When I was a child, a nun told me that pets didn't go to heaven. I decided then and there I couldn't possibly be Catholic because it wouldn't be heaven without my pets. The Catholic church has since rescinded that particular teaching which is, I believe, the reason for its explosive growth in Arizona, home of domesticated horses, lizards, snakes, rabbits, alligators (honest), wildcats, coyotes and birds of prey.
People who rescue pets are saints. Just ask St. Francis.
I have five pets. At the height, we had six - two dogs and five cats. Right now we are working on the principal of minimization through attrition. We are not replacing them as they die off, at ripe old ages.
Well, except for taking on the corgi and bringing the doggie numbers up to two. One of the cats had died and another obviously wasn't going to last long and the vet called because a client had found a corgi in the street and didn't want to keep it because her dogs were all way bigger. But if current grandma cat dies, we won't get a kitten. And the other two cats really aren't old enough to die, so we'll be at four pets until the older dog dies, or the almost grandma cat gets grandma enough, then we'll be at three, then two, who will be with us a long long time, but that cat and dog are really the kids' cat and dog and they'll probably take them with them when they go to college, which means we wouldn't have any pets, unless, or course, we saw a cute little kitty, or maybe a nice doggy gazing at us from behind the glass at the Humane Society, which we would probably visit just to 'see what they have, but we're not adopting any more pets'...
Unless, of course, our vet calls us to tell us about a client who's decided her Eskie sheds and she's replacing the white couch with one in brown.
Re: the heaven issue
I believe in the Rainbow Bridge.
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