Monday, August 25, 2008

Where to start, where to start...

So much has happened since I had a moment to log on with anything more than a passing shot at my friends over at First Offenders and Naked Authors.

Where to start... Joe Biden is Obama's running mate. I've always liked Joe, runaway gums and all. And I love the GOP spin. OH NO! Obama picked Biden, proving he's insecure about foreign affairs!

Uh, maybe it's just me, but I see Obama's bringing Biden aboard a sign of self-confidence and maturity.

Maturity. Wouldn't it be nice to have a Commander in Chief who didn't conduct foreign policy with "bring 'em on"?

Then we had John McCain forgetting how many houses he owned. Now, Jenny does all the financial stuff in our house, and I couldn't tell you how much money we have in the bank. I only know that when I give my bartender my debit card, it goes through. That makes me and my bartender happy.

But I know how many houses we own. We own one. We also own two cars, one couch, two guitars and a ukulele. Again, I love the right wing spin on this.

"This is a guy who lived in one house for five and a half years -- in prison," some bozo named Brian Rogers huffed. Because, you know, being a POW excuses everything, even McCain entering his wife into the topless Miss Buffalo Chip contest. I'm not quite certain how being a POW excuses that, but I'm assured that it does.

Then it was revealed that the cost for keeping all of McCain's houses runs about a quarter mil a year. That may be chump change for the McCains, but for most of us, that's some serious coin. Someone at Matt Yglesia's blog broke it down and it came out to 8 people for 8 houses meant each housekeeper made about 37 grand a year. That's not bad for a housekeeper.

But then, against my better judgment, I gave it more thought. My wife and I live in a very small house, only 1200 square feet. And we're not the most fastidious housekeepers in the world.* But even with this lax, some would say slovenly, lifestyle, Jenny and I spend several hours cleaning the house every week.

And my guess, judging just from her prom picture up there, is that Cindy McCain is the kind of tight-assed, white-glove employer who would make my old drill sergeant look like a filthy hippie.

So one person per house to clean, launder, cut the grass, weed the flower beds, etc? For 37K? I don't think so, not when McCain is paying people 50 bucks an hour to pick lettuce in Yuma.

So that means he must hire contractors, maybe off the books, to come in and tidy up. And what kind of people do you get when you hire contractors to do your landscaping and house keeping? Ask Mitt Romney. He had so many illegal Mexicans working around his house that his neighbors started calling it the Alamo.

I'm just sayin.'

Other news: We now turn to the world of music and find that Twelve Cents Shy has lost their bass player and their harp player. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, if you want to catch Twelve Cents Shy with this line-up, our last show will be at Papa Mojo's in Durham on September 13th.

There's so much more to talk about, but I've got to run. That will teach me to take a couple weeks off.

Later this week: What crime writers and country music have in common.

*Our apologies to overnight guests who have had to wade through the drifts of dog hair, cat hair, dust, dirt and general 21st century effluvia two humans and assorted critters can generate in a small space.

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