In the past week I've gone through six airports.
Crowded coach, long delays, overpriced airport food, surly flight attendants, the gaseous seatmate, the scowling TSA employee just hoping you'll say something that will justify a cavity search and the screaming baby that is FFA-mandated for every flight.
I was going to write a long piece here about how flying is like going Greyhound at 30,000 feet, with a hint of Stalin (papers please), but you've heard it all before. You've been there.
And I have a ton of work on my desk. So, I'll just say I'm happy to be home.
In a few days, when I can see some daylight, I'll report on the trip to Tulsa, complete with Mom birthday pics, a story about God's keen sense of humor, and the announcement of a band name for Molly's nine-piece soul group. Until then,
Here's what I want to know.
You know why it's news when Southwest is rude to a customer. It's waaaaay out of character for them.
So why is flying Southwest or Jet Blue, for which I've never paid more than $200, so much more pleasant than flying Delta, which one time wanted to rape me for $1000 just to fly to New York.
On a dinky little Canadair jet that make the corporate jets at Lunken Field look like the Starship Enterprise D.
Why is it when I pay more to be flung through the air at 600 mph at 30,000 feet, I'm treated more shabbily.
I recently flew first class on Delta out to San Fran on business. So how was it?
The seats were very nice, but meh, it wasn't Jet Blue, where I had my own TV and MORE leg room. Jet Blue's fare from CMH to SFO? Less than $300. Delta's round trip, which included coach on the return flight? $1400.
And Delta thinks it's funny to cram more seats into an MD88 so no one has leg room in coach on the weekend flights. I had to sit with my legs out in the aisle for five f***ing hours!
The big airlines deserve to go bankrupt. They treat their passengers like shit, then charge 3x the price for the pleasure.
(Wanna get on a TSA agent's good side? Tell them you'll beat the shoe bomber to death with lead-filled shoes when he gets out of prison. They HATE that guy.)
I think I used to date that chick on the right, but she ran off with a bulldozer salesman and I never saw her again. Well it could be her. Welcome home.
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