Friday, February 17, 2006

Tree Gets Drunk, Picks Fight With Foliage

Seriously, I should have named this blog "Shiny Objects" because it really is about whatever ephemera attracts my limited attention. Today it's the news that the Stanford mascot, a tree, was fired for being drunk. OK, there are a number of reasons why this item seduced my eye.

1. Stanford has a tree for a mascot
2. Stanford has a TREE for a mascot
3. The mission of Stanford's band, as quoted by band spokesman, Sam Urmey

Tree Mascot Fired for Alleged Drunkenness
From Associated Press

STANFORD, Calif. - A rowdy Stanford University mascot was fired after being discovered drunk during a basketball game, university officials said.

Fifth-year senior Erin Lashnits, who dresses as a tree for the university's irreverent band, was stripped of her duties last week after her blood-alcohol level was measured at 0.157 during a men's basketball game at the University of California, Berkeley. For the purposes of driving a vehicle in California, legally drunk is .08.

Stanford went on to lose the Feb. 9 game 65-62.

The university had previously placed the band on "alcohol suspension," which requires a zero-tolerance policy toward drunkenness, said band spokesman Sam Urmy. "We don't want to risk our core mission of bringing funk to the funkless," Urmy said.

Really, I need to get a life.


Kel said...

She might be the only person on earth with a legitimate answer to the question - If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?

Ted Baker said...

It's so surprising that a fifth-year senior would show such poor judgment in their behavior.

JD Rhoades said...

Man, when I was in college, I could never get my date to dress like a tree.

Jennifer Jordan said...

Ironically, "bringing funk to the funkless" is my mission as well.

I want to know how they determined their tree was drunk. And do they test the sap?

David Terrenoire said...

It's not bad enough the tree staggered around courtside, shedding leaves, but I understand she hit on a potted shrub.

As for determining if a tree is intoxicated, you could make them grow in a straight line, but that would be time-consuming. My guess is they sent off a sap sample to one of Palo Alto's many branch hospitals.

JD Rhoades said...

Well, I'll be a son of a beech...

secretdeadartist said...

Something like THIS always happens after spending 5 years in undergraduate school, and dressing up as a tree every 3 days. During my 5th year I was stoned all the time and dressed up like a ghost every other day, although it was really just plaster dust.