Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Good news! Wolfowitz says bird flu could kill us all.

World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz says bird flu would bugger the word economy and kill billions. Hurray!

Paul Wolfowitz was one of the major architects of the Iraq war, the guy who said it would pay for itself and wouldn't cost American taxpayers a dime. Considering he was off by 300 billion dollars (and counting), we can figure he's completely wrong about this, too. Wonderful news!

And it gets better.

President Bush is expected to turn his laser-like attention toward "a detailed action plan" for how the United States would deal with this threat from birds.

"I don't like parrots. You can't trust 'em," the President said. "They talk. And that parrot in Nogales is a liar."

So relax, eat all the Chinese chicken you want. The bird flu isn't a problem.

Thanks, Mr. Wolfowitz! Thanks, Mr. President!


M. G. Tarquini said...

Don't be so flip, David. Have you even considered the ramifications at your local KFC were half the world population to die in the course of say...a week? Especially of poultry-related causes.

I say we pre-emptively and tactically nuke 'em before they have a chance to spread their crazy brand of fundamental extremist communism to the Chicken Shack down on Main St.

Sandra Ruttan said...

I've always thought birds were evil. They don't even have the courtesy of staying home when they're sick instead of contaminating everyone else.


secretdeadartist said...

Now I have to look out for birds falling from the sky?

Ron Hudson said...

Sometime, David, when we are alone or sequestered at a party (are there still parties???), I will have to tell you about the parrot that squawked....It isn't my own story, so I can't write it, but I can repeat it often.