Friday, April 21, 2006

Pooping our way to energy independence.


As the owner of two large dogs, this is the best news I've heard since Jesus. Apparently, we can tell the Saudis to go suck it because we don't need their oil. We have dog poo. Tons of it. I know, because I pick up five or six pounds of it every damn day.

Leave it to the free thinkers of San Francisco to step in something and smell potential. Their punjabs of poo say city pets are producing 6500 tons of the stuff and why shouldn't they turn those turds into turbines. They say the dog doots picked up in city parks and pried from the treads of a million San Francisco sneakers will be used to produce methane gas, which can power America to energy independence. Bite on that, Iran!

Will this mean my boys, Boomer and Duncan, will finally start carrying their weight around here? Probably not. With our luck, once they discover their droppings are worth money, both will become so constipated it'll take dynamite to unblock those bowels.

As the saying goes, "If shit was gold, the poor would be born without assholes."

6 comments:

Steve Ordog said...

Good! I have an 85lb. Golden Retriever who can probably power my gas guzzler truck! Where do I get the adapter to plug his ass in?

secretdeadartist said...

Or does this mean that we will have armies of people searching for dogshit? Will it then be worth money?

Boomer said...

Hey, quit typing so loud, I'm trying to sleep.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Oh, excellent. We have a shephard/rottweiler cross and two huskies! Suddenly, scooping seems like a good thing.

Stephen Blackmoore said...

Woohoo! With a 90 pound lab and a 60 pound Irish wolfhound puppy, I'm gonna turn my backyard into a freakin' goldmine! Of course, with my luck, they'll go union or something.

Charlie Stella said...

Dave: You're all right by me, brother. It's hard being a guy who switched parties these days (I used to be a bleeding heart, believe it or not ... and I still am to some degree very liberal on social issues--that weakenss aside ... you and JD are good sports and great writers ... and I look very forward to the beer fest.

And, come on, that was one great line you hit me with last week. I've been using it since with my wife. "Don't abuse my fragility, baby," I tell her.

"Get over yourself," she tells me.

I saw what's going on at Barry's blog and it's a shame ... but it's the nature of politics, I suppose.

I'm trying to get some work done and that doesn't permit me to blog ... plus the wife'll beat me senseless ... so, to avoid this political stuff (and being sucked in full speed), I'm just glancing in now and then and taking my 12-step program to avoid politics very seriously ... I'm sure you know how it can be.

Anyway, please forward this along to JD ... we'll have a good laugh about this stuff some day.

I'll buy the first dozen rounds.

And, hey, I'd enjoy jamming with you some day. I'm a drummer ...