Thursday, May 25, 2006

Here she is, a Hannibabe who uses exclamation points!

My friend, patriotboy, told me of this joyful alternate universe where fans of the giant-headed Sean Hannity can find one another and live together in right wing romantic bliss.

We looked at the American Ninja, the guy with the numchucks, a few weeks ago. Now we turn to the distaff side and offer up one for the boys. Careful, guys, this one's smokin'.

She was born on the Fourth of July, so no doubt she's a real firecracker. She has 3 children, is a social drinker and, this has got to be a major turn-on, she chews tobacco. Mmmm, nice.

Her favorite food is barbecue and she's fluent in English and speaks minimal Hebrew, as in shiksa.

She loves the arts, I'm guessing velvet Elvis, billiards and gospel. She describes her body type as "I'll tell you later."

But let's let our Hannibabe speak for herself:

What can I say- I look HOT in my stars 'n' stripes bikini! [If you squint and it's kinda dark, and you've left your glasses in the Camaro] I also love to slip into my favorite pair of pumps and lowcut evening gown for a night out with the gals! [videos available]

My husband recently died on a mission trip in Africa. I worried about him going over there, but as it turns out he died of natural causes [?] so it wouldn't have mattered if he was saving some uncivilized [Negro] soul or not! He did what he loved and I will never forget him! [which means I'll be shouting his name when we have sex] God bless you Troy!

Although I LOVE chocolate and SINFUL desserts, I maintain a sexy bod by playing in the community softball league. Many men around my office often comment on my gorgeous figure!
[Can you say "hostile work environment?"]

I want a man with values and morals, like my idol, President George W. Bush. A good Christian man, someone my kids can call "DADDY!" Someone who will curl up on the couch with me and just soak in the genius of Bill O'Reilly and the man himself, SEAN HANNITY! Someone who won't back down to the sinful liberal left! I want a man who is dedicated to his country and religion! Someone who is willing to come with me to an anti-abortion rally! Someone who is willing to come with me to an anti-Mexican immigrant rally! GO USA!

Someone who knows how to use exclamation points!

But, if you're a guy between 25 and 65, and no I'm not kidding, that's what she's looking for, this is the woman for you. Softball, barbecue and anti-Mexican rallies. What could be more romantic?

Ai, chingau! Elle esta muy caliente, si?


kpeterson said...

you're killing me,..babe,'re just killing me......

James Lincoln Warren said...

This is a thinly veiled program of eugenics fueled by a political agenda.

Gee, who does that remind you of?