Thursday, May 18, 2006

Let's talk about sex.

Good news! Abstinence-only sex education works!

Well, it doesn't really work, but the good news is, people believe it works. That, at least, is the big story in the Washington Times.

And if you close your eyes and wish real hard, things will be better in Iraq, too.

Here's what had the Moonie-owned paper in a swoon of self-congratulation:

"Critics of abstinence-only sex-education programs may be too hasty in judgment. There is support for the method among age groups that count -- the young. According to a new Harris Poll, 56 percent of people ages 18 to 24, and 60 percent of those 25 to 29 think abstinence programs effectively reduce or prevent the occurrence of HIV/AIDS."

See, it doesn't matter that, according to the LA Times, 52% of teenagers who signed an abstinence pledge did the nasty within a year and, according to The American Journal of Sociology, these teens were far more likely to ride bareback when they did discover the joys of the horizontal hula. No, what matters is that people believe abstinence works, so there, you liberal sex pervs. Suck on that.

Given this impeccable logic, if I believe I can fly, I can leap from this tree. Because, according to the Times, belief trumps everything, especially those pesky scientific facts like gravity.

The Reverend Moon's minions go on to crow:

"Among six age groups and three political groups, younger respondents showed the strongest support for abstinence over safe-sex programs."

And even younger respondents professed a belief in Santa, the Tooth Fairy and George Bush's competence.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what passes for good news on the Right. Teaching ignorance is fine, as long as you believe. Faith over facts. Hope over science.

I got something you can believe in right here: When we start teaching kids based on what we'd like to be true, you can bet someone's going to get fucked, but it won't be in a good way.


Stephen Blackmoore said...

What's that quote? If we taught our children to swim the same way we teach them about sex, most of them would drown?

The FDA's looking like it's going to be passing a new cervical cancer vaccine to be given to girls. It prevents a couple of papillomavirus STDs that are responsible for genital warts and a large number of cervical cancer cases.

I have to wonder how many parents are actually going to get this for their children. "Oh no, MY little Suzy would never get THAT. She's a good girl." Fucking morons.

James Lincoln Warren said...

Leaps of faith aren't bad except when they leap over the facts.

I am now leaping to a revolutionary new theory.

The dinosaurs died out due to the practice of abstinence.

Sandra Ruttan said...

You know the abstinence people are more likely to get pregnant or an std because they don't carry birth control because they're going to wait until they're married.

Of course, I practiced abstinence and waited until I was married. I am a pillar of virtue and should be the poster child for the right, you liberal sex pervs you!

Love that picture!

Brett Battles said...

Is there a Abstinence Not By Choice category? I was the poster child for that back in the day.

Stephen D. Rogers said...


Any chance of getting the graphic without the text? The cat can't read.


JT Ellison said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
JT Ellison said...

Abstinence? Hell, kids are having group sex parties these days. Thank God I don't have any, I'd worry myself sick at the prospect of being a complete hypocrite. Kids, I mean, not group sex parties.

Stephen Blackmoore said...

Group sex parties? Where the hell were these when I was in high school? One more reason to hate the 80's.

Sandra Ruttan said...

"Thank God I don't have any... Kids, I mean, not group sex parties."

So JT, this is what you do for fun on the weekends? Now everyone will want to come to Nashville.

JT Ellison said...

Whoops. That didn't come out right, did it?
Hmm, then again, there was the Dirty Santa Christmas Party at the Ellison's this year...

For The Trees said...

I regret to announce that I've copied out the God Kills A Kitten graphic and have emailed it to all the fucking fundamentalists who think I need another email forwarded to me about God's Forgiveness For Atheists and The Angels Sing For Your Soul, ArchAngel Michael is Fighting For Your Soul and some other one I can't seem to get off the loop for. Assholes.

And the way cats reproduce, it's a damn good thing God's killing them off. Little shits would take over the known world otherwise. Do you realize that litters are getting BIGGER over the last ten years? Yep. Gone from 5.4 kittens a litter to 6.7. That's a LOT of kittens. God better get busy. I'm touching myself now. All you people better do the same. I'm gonna post an entry on my blog about this. Christ, we'd better hurry. Wonder what it'll take to get God to kill a puppy?