Wednesday, August 29, 2007

This contest has finally come out of the closet.


What the hell is going on? Did the country sign up for a free GOP Freak of the Week update? Really, you have that Vitters guy in a diaper; Ted Haggard, the crystal Methodist; Bob Allen, the Florida Republican who offered a black undercover cop 20 bucks and a blowjob because he was afraid of getting mugged and we all know that when you're getting mugged, offering a blowjob is almost as good as knowing kung fu.

Now we have Larry Craig (R-Last Stall On The Right) arrested for soliciting a cop in an airport men's room.

The public outting of a self-loathing Republican lawmaker has become as common as a George Bush malaprop, so I was going to let this one pass without comment, but then I read this Larry Craig quote from the bad old days when Bill Clinton was being impeached for lying about a blowjob he got in a heterosexual, although skeevy, way.

This from Larry "I am not gay" Craig:

"... the Senate certainly can bring about a censure resolution and it's a slap on the wrist. It's a, 'Bad boy, Bill Clinton. You're a naughty boy.' The American people already know that Bill Clinton is a bad boy, a naughty boy. I'm going to speak out for the citizens of my state, who in the majority think that Bill Clinton is probably even a nasty, bad, naughty boy."


Really, Larry, for a guy who swears he's not gay, that sounds about as gay as Liza Minelli's cabana boy.

So, if anyone can guess the next Republican to get caught in a compromising position, I promise to send a copy of Gloria Gaynor's Greatest Hits or Dusty Rhoades' latest, Safe and Sound, as soon as I can get my hands on one.

3 comments:

Patrick Shawn Bagley said...

You are a nasty, bad, naughty boy.

JD Rhoades said...

I'll throw in the book...

Jim Winter said...

I don't see the problem. Senator Craig said he was against gays. That doesn't include the bi-curious, does it?