Thursday, July 24, 2008

Bush and International Affairs.

For a guy who ran against John Kerry by calling him a flip-flopper, George Bush is, ahem, trying out new positions on several things.

Like the Secretary of State.

But more on that in a minute.

Bush, the man who invented the Middle School School of Diplomacy, the kind that says, "I'm not talking to them, they know what they did," has suddenly sent people to talk to our enemies. And not just any enemies, but the two remaining members in the Axis of Evil, North Korea and Iran.

Holy smoking gun. This is the same guy who just last month said that Obama's willingness to talk to Iran was like Neville Chamberlain sucking up to Hitler.

And Secretary of State Rice is talking directly with the nuclear bad boys in North Korea.

In Iraq, the man who said that setting a time table for withdrawal would send the wrong message, is now talking about a "time horizon" for withdrawal because that's really different than a time table, because they have, like, different words and everything.

As Bush tries desperately to salvage something in the last few months of his presidency, not all Americans are happy. Take John Bolton, for instance, the former Ambassador to the UN and the neo-con with the milk mustache. He claimed all this talking with the enemy was an "intellectual collapse" and a preview of "an Obama administration."

Bolton said this soft-headed change in diplomacy is all Condi Rice's fault "because she's a chick."

And what a chick.

Yes, the story has moved from the tabloids into the mainstream press. Not the American press, of course, but in places like Russia and Italy, the wires are smoking with rumors that George and Condi are sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g.

And what about Laura? Months ago it was rumored she'd been sleeping at the Mayfair Hotel instead of in the White House because of W's affair with you know who. Now it's being said that after George leaves office she'll file for divorce, which is better than running over George with her car, I guess.

Is it true? I don't know. But think about it. After leaving DC she's facing a lifetime of retirement with George and his jokes and that annoying little laugh he has, trapped on that goddam sweaty ranch in Crawford.

I always knew she was smarter than that.


Anonymous said...

W is doing all the things he should have done in 2001 and 2002. Cuz he's, like, got less than six months an' shit to do this.

On the agenda for October?

"I'm gonna read me that thar Constitution thingie dad's been pestering me about. I heard that's, like, important an' stuff."

If Condi is doing the horizontal bop with George, it would remind me of an old Dave Chapelle bit.

"Lower taxes, Mr. President?" *slurp* *slurp*

JD Rhoades said...

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It would be irresponsible not to.