Monday, July 28, 2008

Vaginas in the news.

This is the kind of news you miss if you don't read the New York Times. The first ever spa dedicated to the fitness of the vagina has opened in Manhattan. That's right. If your vagina is flabby and listless, this place can get your ladybits back to their former steel-bending glory.

According to the Times article, the spa's signature treatment consists of the client flexing her pelvic muscles around Dr. Lauri Romazi’s fingers to determine muscle tone. Dr. Romazi said that her regimen of vaginal calisthenics "may also lead to more intense orgasms."

And that's something we can all get behind.

But what if you live in a flyover state, or some backward place like Alabama where female orgasms are illegal? Don't worry ladies, because you can use this handy device in the privacy of your own home.

It took me a moment, but I think you use this thing like a thighmaster. Which leads to the question, why don't we ever see Suzanne Somers advertising it on late night TV? I'll bet she could sell a million of them. Why, this could be as big as Ron Popeil's Pocket Fisherman.

So, ladies, don't let your happy taco sit around the house getting fat, lazy and out of shape. Squeeze your way to orgasmic health and happiness.

To quote Dr. Romazi, "If you can vote and you have a vagina, you should do these. It's the dental floss of feminine fitness."


norby said...

Uh, I could be wrong, but I'm fairly certain you don't need that whatever it is, or SOMEONE'S FINGERS to do those exercises.

I'm just saying.

Beneath the Carolina Moon said...

Kegals or ever how they're spelled, are a good thing! Sanitized tape worms are, well, like the federal government.

It must be Tuesday. If I were in New Zealand it would be Tuesday's with Maori. But I'm here instead with the morning temp at a sweet 72F and the humidity at a freaking 91%. Another day of both politics and weather as usual.

I also heard about this spa a few weeks ago. I makes you wonder what people spent their money on before this came along.