There was a time when I thought Republicans reproduced by asexual spore formation because they seemed to hate sex. They hated it in books, film, TV, conversation, paintings, photos, song lyrics, cartoons, poetry, and jokes. They tried to stamp out sex in all places public and private and I got the feeling that they all thought sex was just too icky.My favorite quote came from Bob Barr, Republican congressman from Georgia: "The flames of hedonism, the flames of narcissism, the flames of self-centered morality are licking at the very foundation of our society, the family unit."
Licking at the foundation of the family unit. Yeah, you can't make this stuff up.
This was the same Bob Barr who was photographed licking whipped cream off strippers at his inauguration party. Yep. That's right.
See, Republicans don't dislike sex. They like sex. A lot. In fact, these people are stone freaks. If you want a full accounting of GOP sexual frolics, go here. And that doesn't take into account the man-on-dog and man-on-turtle couplings that spring so scarily into their heads whenever they talk about sex in public.
But what got me this morning was the salacious story of country singer Sara Evans who is divorcing her husband saying he committed adultery, was abusive, drank excessively (like that's a big deal) and watched pornography.
I was thinking it was a regular story about rich people getting crazy until I read that her husband, the presently unemployed Craig Schelske, ran for Congress as a Republican in 2002.
Yes, another GOP freak. His estranged wife claims she found photos on their home computer of Craig playing hide the Osama with other women. Yikes! And at least 100 nude photographs of Craig in full chubb. Double Yikes!
In comparison to these people, my sex life is so normal that I could qualify as a monk.
I knew I should have become a Republican like our friend Mr. Rhoades. They seem to get all the hot freaky action.
9 comments:
I hate to break it to you, but Sara Evan's husband and the nanny both took lie detector tests which they passed and he's suing her for slander. It's been all over the news here for days. Sara Evans is full of crap. Sorry to mess with your thesis.
I keep tellin' you man, I'm not planning any adultery, gambling, etc...but if I do, I know the GOP's got my back.
Ah, JT, I've decided not to let facts ruin a good story.
What could be more Republican than that?
I have read reports that say those pictures of the GOP wannabe with his flag unfurled, so to speak, do exist, but were part of a consensual thing he did wiuth his wife.
Which is still pretty freaky.
Okay, so now the truth is out. My reason for leaving the GOP had nothing to do with the botched "war on terror," failed domestic policies, religious intolerance and institutionalized corruption. I was actually KICKED OUT for getting laid too often.
Hey, considering she was the one taking the pictures... maybe you should invite her for an afternoon of delight here.
I'm just fascinated by this view that republicans don't have sex, or if there is to be sex, it must be some kind of bizarre perversion.
Ignore them JT ... it's the Dems chance to have some fun. After all, they gave so much fun to the rest of us for so long. Fair is fair ... it'll be short lived anyway ... Imagine Slick Willy when Hillary's on tour?
The one guy they have right now that can win them the entire package is Barrack Obama ... and they'll cut his legs out the same way they did to Kucinich and Dean. Unless Hillary takes one for the party and lets someone truly charismatic "and clean" take his best shot. Five'll get you ten that never happens. But it sure will be fun watching the Democratic Primary in 2008.
Charlie, watching Democrats self-destruct is not fun if you're a Democrat.
That's why we don't talk about Democrats here at The Planet.
I've been depressed since 1972 and I don't expect it to change any time soon. Only the Democrats could figure out a way to lose to the GOP.
Although I'd trade Bubba's 8 years for the present occupant's 8 years any day. No body bags, a budget surplus and everyone in a dither over oral sex. God, we didn't know how good we had it.
That's true.
You can only kill yourself in politics in two ways -- dead girl, live boy.The rest if just fodder for our imaginations.
Only the Democrats could figure out a way to lose to the GOP.
Truer words were never spoken … why they’ll blow it with Obama … the one real chance they have to get some independents back in the fold. I’m positive it won’t happen.
Interesting Clinton 8 year analysis except for the terrorist hits we took he did nothing to end, his "nuke treaty" with North Korea they didn't bother to respect and/or the never-ending scandal he could've put an end to before pointing that famous finger into the camera and declaring he did not have sex ... well, you know.
Another argument for another day … or an old one beaten into the ground already.
Love to see Kinky get it done in Texas. Had Perot not been crazy, we might have a third party these days … but he was and that’s really how Slick Willy won in the first place (the fed up vote). Well, we’re fed up again … I am for not fighting a war like a war (but it seems like that'll never happen again until we get nuked first) ... In any case, I doubt Hillary will bring anybody closer when somebody like Obama is available. Smart money says the Dems blow it once more once ...
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