Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Hi, I'm Mickey Mouse and I'm here to steal the election.

It's happening. The GOP is so worried about an Obama landslide, (although with all those sleeper cell Diebold machines lying in wait, I don't know why) that they're flogging this ACORN story like it's a magical conflation of the Second Coming and Krispy Kremes. Since last Friday, Fox News has mentioned ACORN more than 300 times.

For those who don't know ACORN, it's a non-profit that advocates for the poor and part of their work is registering new voters. Yes, it's highly partisan and solidly in the tank for Obama, no question. ACORN pays people to register voters, and they pay based on the number of people registered, which just about begs some homeless guy to write in a bunch of phony names, including Mr. Mouse.

Voter registration fraud, no doubt, and it's ACORN who is defruaded out of some Night Train cash. But, it is not voter fraud. Voter fraud would be me showing up at the polls claiming to be Mr. Mickey Mouse and casting a vote. I think that's highly unlikely, don't you?

But if you listened to CNN this morning, you never would have known that. To the casual listener, this was evidence of Obama supporters trying to steal the election.

In my opinion, it's far more likely that those machines will take your vote for Obama and magically change it to a vote for McCain, but I admit, I'm a little crazy after eight years of George Bush and the fear-driven GOP campaigns of the last 20 years.

But, compared to these people, I'm the poster boy for mental health.

Bob, the guy who runs the blog Confederate Yankee, lives here in North Carolina and I've always thought he was deluded, but basically sane. Now, I'm not so sure. He and his readers are frothing at the mouth over the prospect of an Obama presidency.

It's not enough for Obama to be wrong, they have to make him the anti-Christ. Here are just a few samples posted by Bob's regular readers. Sweet Jesus, but this is a giant bucketload of crazy.

"Those who vote for Stalinbama vote out of a sense complete denial of the facts that are now coming to the surface, no thanks to the US MSM Pravda."

"For twenty years he sat in the pew as his 'pastor' spewed anti-American, white-hating filth. Obama brought his wife and kids. The only religion he ever exposed his children to was Marxism with a thin veneer of religion."

"As always, the people of the Right earn the money and the people of the Left squander it ... Some will remember that a fine man, John Heinz, left considerable sums in trusts and to his widow, Theresa. That fortune is now ammo for the socialistic takeover of this nation."
I've often voted for losing candidates. Each time I've always hoped I had been wrong and that the winning guy would be really good for the country. Sometimes the guy was good, sometimes the guy was bad, and sometimes the guy was a complete disaster.

But for a lot of people out there, they need their crazy. You've seen them at Palin rallies. You hear them on talk radio. To them, Obama has to be "that one," a secret America-hater, a Marxist, a Socialist, a Fascist, a Communist, a Manchurian candidate who will steal the election, kill your babies and fill the government with scary Arabs, muslims, terrorists and angry angry Negroes.

Look out! Be afraid! It's a centrist Democrat from Illinois! Oh, the humanity!

I don't know about you, but I can't wait for this election to be over.

Frantic paranoia is exhausting.


pattinase (abbott) said...

Me either. I can't post about it any longer because I get right wing nuts every time. So I'll just come here for some sensible words.

David Terrenoire said...

You're always welcome here, Patti.

Anonymous said...

Glad to hear you say that. Some time ago you said I believe "his heart is in the right place". I've never seen politics this bad before. CY says Christians cannot in good faith vote for Obama. Here is a guy who sells guns for a living yet sees no irony in lecturing about Jesus. It's tempting to become a Christian so that I too can have these super powers. These "Christians" don't even have a pretense of emulating Jesus, they just quote the Bible occasionally when it suits them.

What's particularly unfortunate about zealots is that many of them know what it means to succeed through hard work and paying careful attention to feedback, or evidence for those of us without a science allergy. If you want to be an authority about guns, you study them assiduously. You want to run a taco stand, you pay careful attention to what makes your customers happy. If you want to be president, all you need is a moral compass.

CY paraphrased: We can't vote for Obama because he, Michelle and his ex-pastor are racists. Among his anti-American agenda is to empower blacks. ACORN does the work of the devil by registering 1.3 million poor inner city voters and other more shadowy terrorist activities. There are supposedly 13 cases of voter FRAUD, 0.00001% (I'm not sure if there really are that many). John McCain gave the 2006 keynote speech for Acorn, yet he remains untainted.

But these folks aren't racist, don't think that. In fact it's Obama, Michelle, and that arsehole of an ex-pastor who are the racists. They wish to defile traditional values. They HATE AMERICA (I feel some KARL!!! coming on!).

He wants to redistribute wealth. Actually this is somewhat true, as he plans raise taxes on the tip top and keep them flat in the middle. There again, 2% of our population owns 50% of the common stock. These clowns want no "death tax" so that the spawn of the robber barons don't have to support unwed mothers in Philadelphia. What is most disturbing about all this is that merit and restraint are the values that the Republicans are supposed to bring to the table, yet they elect the meritless Bushes and Palins and think it's unfair for trust fund babies to pay too much tax. Kevin Drum once said something like, what's the point for a democrat pres to shore up the finances of this country, only to watch a profligate republican blow it again?

Incidentally, my apologies for building up my conservative Karl cred at your expense. I figured you would appreciate it for what it was, but there again note everyone thinks I'm funny. Okay, even that's generous. Back in those days I laughed until I cried over and over. I hadn't lived until I told some fool, "Some of us remember a day called 911."

Anyways, I'm outta here. I'll try and keep up with the blog but I've got to quit pissing my days away. Thanks for all the fish.

All the best,

JD Rhoades said...

Remember after the 2000 election when wingnuts mocked people who complained about the stolen election? Remember after 2004 when winguts mocked people complaining about voter fraud in Florida? Wonder how many of those people are the ones pre-whining about election fraud in 2008?

They know they're likely to lose, so they're preparing PHASE II: undercut a Democratic president by questioning his legitimacy at every turn.

Anonymous said...

jd rhoades:

Here in Washington state, not long after Bush v Gore, there was a tight election between Christine Gregoire (d) and Dino Rossi (r) for governor. Gregoire won by a hair. Rossi demanded a recount, and again Gregoire won by a hair. This happened at least three times, and at every fucking step those guys whinged, yelled, scolded etc etc. There HAD to be a mistake, no way could Gregoire have actually won! There was massive voter fraud!! It was unbelievable. Rossi made these announcements about how he would never ever accept this scurrilous vote, etc. After Rossi finally conceded, the bonnet-wearing zealots down the road put out this sign, "Christine Gregoire is not MY governor!!!"

Bush v Gore actually makes some sense. Bush was effectively raised to call his coterie of lawyers at the drop of a hat, so he knew precisely what to do in 2000. This Washington thing was an emergent nutbag event.

--KARL!!! gad I just couldn't stay away.