If this is the conservative movement's idea of a romantic cruise, it's a wonder they procreate at all.

No, this is not a joke. This is a real Valentine's Day cruise being offered to America's right-leaning romantics. And really, what says romance better than a moonlight stroll around the lido deck with Ed Meese?

Maybe a candlelight dinner at the Captain's table with Tom Tancredo? Or pillow talk with John Ashcroft?

Hardline immigration policies just add a certain spark to your V-Day lovemaking.

The sponsor of this cruise is the Young America's Foundation, and tangoing on the fantail with Alan Simpson is sure to make any young lover's heart beat faster.

Rates start at $4281 per person, which in these tough times might seem a little high, but how can you put a price on ten days at sea discussing the books of Ayn Rand and the music of Ted Nugent with like-minded right-thinking people who are guaranteed to never challenge a thought in your head?

The cruise includes a stop in Key West, where Ron Robinson leads the midnight hunt of homosexuals and Ashcroft holds a witch trial for stray calicos.

In Mexico, Tom Tancredo will point out all the people he doesn't want in America.

In Latin America, there will be a special celebration honoring the Guatemalan military where couples who want to relive the Roaring Reagan 80's will get to shoot Mayans from a helicopter.

So sign up today. At this special Greenspan-inspired rate, the romantic hideaway cabins will disappear faster than the Republican party's principles.

I found this somewhere yesterday, but I don't remember where, so if I stole it from your blog without giving you the appropriate hat tip, I apologize. Click on the picture to get the AARP-approved size.