David Brooks, one of the wrongest people in America with a record to prove it, is a columnist for the liberal New York Times. David has often gazed into the near distance, a wistful gleam in his eye, and talked at length about the virtues of the True America, that land that lies somewhere west of New York, east of L.A. and just south of Reality.
David doesn't live in that Land of Promise and Wonder, no. But he assures us that there is where you'll find the Real Americans, those yeoman farmers who shoulder this great Republic, men and women of stout heart who still raise their neighbor's barn and gather in the town hall to give voice to their democratic (read: Republican) ideals. These are the same simple folk who gather 'round Sarah Palin and call for the murder of people they don't like.
What David doesn't mention often enough is the creative spirit of these Real Americans. So here, thanks to my friend and co-worker Eric, is a true story from Utah. It shows just how one Utah neighbor worked things out when he and his new neighbor had a dispute. You gotta love this.
Mark Easton is a city councilman in Someplace, Utah and had a great view of the mountains from his house.
Then a new neighbor had the audacity to build himself a home between Mark and the mountain. Mark, being an anal city councilman, discovered that this new home was 18 inches higher than the ordinances would allow.
Mark sicced the city wolverines on the neighbor and forced him to lower the roof. According to the news stories, this wasn't cheap.
The neighbor, who the story unfortunately doesn't name, is my hero of the day. In response to Mark's dickishness, my new hero installed vents where Mark could see them every day.
Want to see what Mark sees?
So, David Brooks, in his love for Middle America, needs to mention their sense of humor every now and then. Because this is great.
To all my friends at Bouchercon this weekend, have a drink for me.
Maybe next year.