NC Senate minority leader Phil Berger thought he'd take advantage of the scheduled legislative news conference and do a little show biz buck and wing for the press.
The press assembles. Phil pushes out a wheelbarrow stocked to the gunwales with "Conservative Voters Surveys" that Phil sent out. Then he threatens to push the barrow all the way to the governor's office so she can see what conservatives are thinking.
Phil's pretty pleased with himself.
Then people in the governor's office do something Phil hadn't. They read the surveys.
I used to be on every right-wing mailing list who'd have me. I figured that if Pat Robertson or Jesse Helms spent a dime sending shit to me, that's a dime they couldn't spend encouraging the rabble. So, I've seen these surveys. They're full of questions like:
"Do you support the Democrat Party's gay agenda and legislation that would make sodomy with puppies mandatory in public schools?"
Then they hit you up for money.
Phil Berger's survey was the same critter. Below are a few questions from the survey that I'm not making up:
"Do you oppose Bev Perdue and the Democrats' plan to pass a job-killing $1.6 billion dollar tax increase in the middle of a recession?"
"Do you think death panels made up of government bureaucrats should decide if your loved ones live or die?"
"Do you support sending the North Carolina National Guard to help secure our southern border?"
And, of course, the correct answer is, anything to keep those South Carolina Republicans off our Appalachian trail.
Berger got some cash, including a $50 check he missed among the surveys. Idiot.
But what I loved, and what Phil also didn't see, were responses from conservative voters like these:
"I am embarrassed to be associated with this organization. Your tactics are disgusting and you're going to lose a generation of voters."
"Stop wording questions so geared up to get the answers you want and start wording them to actually find out the people's opinion, not just confirm your own. There are probably only three questions on here that are legitimate."
"Not sending you any more money."
That last one's going to leave a mark.
When the News and Observer wrote about this story last week, the director of the N.C. Republican Senate Committee grumbled something about how both parties need to pay attention to surveys. He didn't point out that only one party actually reads them.
Today's North Carolina GOP leadership - Stupid, mean and apparently, illiterate.