Thursday, July 06, 2006

Everyone who is dead, please raise your hand.

Ken Lay has left the building.

Or has he?

As one Houston woman who lost everything said, "I want to see the bastard's body."

For those of you who don't follow multi-million dollar scams that don't have Ocean in the title, Ken Lay and his criminal cronies used Senator Phil Gramm's engineered deregulation (is it a coincidence that Phil's wife, Wendy, was a member of Enron's board?) to steal from employees, investors and California grandmothers. When caught, Ken's wife went on TV and sobbed that things were so bad that they had to sell one of their vacation houses.

The horrors.

But now Ken's shuffled off, joined the choir invisible, he is no more, he has ceased to be.

Or maybe not.

My wife and I often play the game "Who's the Bigger Cynic?" and more often than not, she wins. This time, however, I think I have her beat.

Jenny thinks Kenny Boy is alive, his face surgically-altered (he now looks like David Hasselhoff), living in Lichtenstein, surreptitiously spending his ill-gained gelt.

Ha! What a Pollyanna.

I think Ken's dead. Why? Because it was easier for the Bush family to whack him than it was to let him live, and possibly sing about the private doings of his butt-boy, the President. You can snort a lot of blow off a hooker's ass if you've got access to Enron's private plane, and George had plenty of access, flying all over the place during the 2000 campaign.

So the Bush familia did to Kenny Boy what George 41 did to Bill Casey, dead head of the CIA. See, when Iran-Contra broke open like an overripe melon, some of it threatened to get on Pop. By taking out Bill Casey, George Sr. managed to isolate all blame to Casey and Oliver North, the fall guy who was later rewarded with a cushy gig bloviating on Fox News.

Hey, it worked once. Why not again? So they grease the Kenster, eliminating a potential threat and shut up Jeffrey Skilling at the same time. Beautiful.

My wife is such an amateur.


Brett Battles said...

I love it! Great conspiracy. Your wife sucks at this game...though I'm sure she's a very nice lady.

Stephen Blackmoore said...

I'm not sure what it says about me that I had the same thought you had when I heard he was dead.

I figure either the coroner is in on it, or they hit him with a modified defibrillator. He already had a history of heart disease, after all.

Unknown said...

Now i guess I'm a cynic too because I had the same exact thoughts when I heard he was dead. I said he's not dead just disappeared to enjoy his millions or he is dead and Georgie Boy had him killed so he couldn't spill the beans. Oh how I long for the days when I wasn't such a cynic...but with Georgie Boy in office those days are over.

Mindy Tarquini said...


Both yours and your wife's scenarios occurred to me when I heard the news.

I'd say more, but I don't want anybody tapping my phone and finding out how few friends I actually have.