Friday, September 08, 2006

Tools.

Several good things came out of this move. We have a smaller mortgage. I have a great new office. And I bought new tools.

As regular readers know, there was a time in my life when I was so broke I couldn't pay attention. That made me incredibly tight when it comes to spending money on myself. I get a $12 haircut that I think is highway robbery. I buy clothes on sale. Off season. And I drink cheap vodka. Lots of it.

But that's another story.

So I'd deprived myself of some great innovations in toolery like the cordless electric screwdriver.

No longer. I now wield a little Black and Decker scewdriver that works like a champ. I've been putting up shelves, putting together closet organizers, and hanging blinds like a madman. I've screwed more than (fill in cheap celebrity slut joke here) and have the sore back to prove it.

I also bought a level and, get this, a stud finder. For decades I've tapped on walls, trying to locate the stud. Tap, tap, tap, tunk. Ah, there it is. And NO, IT ISN'T. Goddamn. Now, I run this little plastic thing along the wall and beeeeep, there it is. Hang the canvas and go.

So, let us now praise cordless tools. Why did I deprive myself of these wonders of modern life for so long?

I think I need a chainsaw.

5 comments:

Beneath the Carolina Moon said...

Toolz you only know that you have enough when you can't find the one you need in the clutter of the others. But you know it's in there somewhere.

secretdeadartist said...

Stud finder? Cordless screwing? Time to make a date with your wife I think.

Stacey Cochran said...

My wife and I have one of those cordless Black & Decker electric screw-drivers. It is amazing how much easier it is to use than a standard phillip's head or flat-head screwdriver.

I know your joy. :)

Stephen Blackmoore said...

Oh, dear sweet Baby Jesus.

You with power tools. That's a scary thought. We're gonna find one of your neighbors with a rototiller driven through his spleen one of these days, aren't we?

Just promise me you'll stay away from things like backhoes, will ya?

Elizabeth said...

Oh my favorite subject! Great power tools are a beautiful thing! (Ok, get your mind out of the gutter already!)

Just don't drink cheap vodka when you're using them!