Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Just in case your subscription to Art News has expired.


Just when you thought you'd seen everything, here comes a Brooklyn gallery with a sculpture sure to bring out every perv within the five boroughs.

It's a nude Britney Spears on a bearskin rug giving birth to K-Fed's spawn, complete with crowning.

“A superstar at Britney’s young age having a child is rare in today’s celebrity culture. This dedication honors Britney for the rarity of her choice and bravery of her decision,” said gallery skeeze, Lincoln Capla.

The whole disconcerting affair has been given a thin patina of serious political statement by the Manhattan Right To Life Committee, desperate to get attention beyond its twelve septuagenarian members.

“Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston,” is billed as "Pro-Life’s first monument to the ‘act of giving birth,’" and is guaranteed to be a hit with the raincoat crowd.

The press slyly acknowledges the true audience for this life-size kitsch by referencing Britney "seductively posed with back arched, pelvis thrust upward, as she clutches the bear’s ears (did we mention the bear?) with ‘water-retentive’ hands."

Allow me to be the first to say, "Ew."

“Britney provides inspiration for those struggling with the ‘right choice’,” said artist Daniel Edwards, recipient of a 2005 Bartlebooth award and no I did not make that shit up.

The gallery is looking for an appropriate permanent space for “Monument to Pro-Life” in time for Mother's Day.

Hi Ma! Look what I got!

I know a trailer park in Kernersville that might take it if we throw in a box of wine, or maybe we could turn it into a fountain and get the full birthing effect.

6 comments:

JD Rhoades said...

A friend of mine who's seen these pics insists it's not Britney Spears, but actually Ashley Judd. Looking at the face, I can see his point.

Tribe said...

Yeah, but it looks like Britney from the other end...

Sandra Ruttan said...

Talk about living life on display.

And staring it that way too.

Let me just tell you this: If ever I'm to expel Kevin's spawn from my body, I won't look like that!

Sandra Ruttan said...

Oops. That was supposed to be 'starting'.

Duane Swierczynski said...

"... (push) Me Baby, One More Time."

Stephen Blackmoore said...

The big question is how many of the little plastic statues of that are they going to sell in the museum gift shop.