Friday, March 31, 2006
Why are these children trying to kill you?
The Godless heathens at Harvard Med School checked out the power of prayer and I have some bad news. If you know that a person is praying for you, you're fucked. Clinically speaking.
The research, appearing in the April issue of the American Heart Journal, followed 1,802 patients undergoing coronary bypass surgery at six hospitals. Of those, one-third weren’t prayed for, another third were prayed for without their knowledge, and the rest knew they were the subject of prayers.
The findings? People who knew they received intercessory prayers had the highest chance of complications of the three groups at 59 percent. Of those patients who didn’t know they were the subject of secret prayers, complications occurred in 52 percent of those who were prayed for and 51 percent of those who weren’t.
In other words, if someone's praying for you, your chances of recovery are worse than if your friends and family went out and got knee-walking drunk. (Please, keep this in mind if I ever have a heart attack.)
So, next time some sanctimonious ass with weepy eyes whispers in your ear, "I'll pray for you," you might want to get a lawyer. That bitch is trying to kill you.