Rush can't get Little Newt to stand for the national anthem.

So to speak.

I know, schadenfreude is such an ugly emotion, and yet, there is a certain breed of human lamprey that so embodies the concept of bad karma that it is incumbent upon the spiritually-minded to pass along this news as a cautionary tale.

Rush Limbaugh, noted champion of Republican Family Values™ was detained by authorities for possession of a prescription medicine. Viagra.

I guess Rush is going to have to change his network from Excellence in Broadcasting to Impotence In Broadcasting.

Now, I care more about Rush's rigidity on Iraq than I do about his lack of rigidity in the rack, but I am curious as to why Rush was in the Dominican Republic with a purloined bottle of Blue Pills.

It's not like the Dominican Republic is tops for tourists, unless you're looking for a little boots knockin.' I'm not saying Rush was down there with his chemical wood looking for little boys, I'm just saying that, according to a quick net search, that kind of thing is widely available to American men who, for some reason, can't seem to stay in a stable, monogamous, heterosexual relationship.

Hey, maybe Rush was down there trying to save those tykes from a lifetime of sin and degradation. Or maybe it was just an afternoon. It's hard to know.

Whatever his mission, it makes me sleep comfortably at night knowing that Rush, the golden-miked spokesman for the Family Values™ crowd, is out there living a life of virtue and good example.

But if I were a little Dominican, I'd sleep with one eye open. You never know when El Gordo Americano is in town, the pills in his pockets shook-shook-shooking like maracas.

Muchacho, are you awake?


(Don't you just love it when you can get a great picture to work twice?)