No, I'm not blowing you off with another lift from Overheard In New York. But I will start with this:
Tourist guy: Excuse me, do you work here?
Uniformed employee: Yes...
Tourist guy: Oh good. Is this Central Park?
Uniformed employee: No, this is Dale and Thomas Popcorn.
Tourist guy: Oh, well the bus guide said this was it. Where is it?
Uniformed employee, pointing north: Just walk that way.
Tourist guy: Well that's not much help, how the hell am I supposed to find it?
Uniformed employee: Oh trust me, you'll find it.
Tourist guy: HOW?
Uniformed employee: IT'S A BIG FUCKING PARK!
--Dale and Thomas Popcorn, 48th & Broadway
Sometime in the mid-80's, I fly into Newark, take the shuttle to Port Authority and catch a cab from there. I tell the driver, a man named Xrhdtpzychntp, my hotel and he looks puzzled. I tell him it's on Central Park South and he nods, says OK, and we're off, heading north on Eighth.
I look at a script I was directing that afternoon, check the time I have to be at the studio, you know, gearing up for work. I look up and we're cruising through Columbus Circle. I say, "Hey, Xrhdtpzychntp, you missed your turn."
He says, No, he's taking me to Central Park South.
I tell him he's just passed Central Park South.
He insists he knows where he's going. INSISTS.
I point in the direction we're going and say, "Do you know we're heading north?"
He says he does.
I point to Central Park on our right and say, "See that big fucking green thing? Do you know what that is?"
He says nothing. He's steamed.
I tell him, "THAT, my friend, is Central Park. So, if we're heading north and that's Central Park that means we're going the wrong way and you have to turn this fucking cab around and go south until you see the statue of Columbus again and then you turn fucking left and THAT will be Central Park South."
Surprisingly, he didn't turn right and drown us both in the reservoir.
I have other New York cab stories, but they require alcohol and time, neither of which I have today at work. And no one is more disappointed about that than I am.
But if you're so moved, tell us a New York story. If you've been there, you've got at least one.